to my deepest endearment

(Again, this is for Chris Tiu...have a great day on your special day, God bless to you and to your family)

    My affection grows from day to day, and its roots are within the inner soil that can't be abolished by any erosion. Though it’s weird if you will look at it but for me it’s the greatest emotion that I ever had. In my entire life, I’ve never been in to this kind of scenario, wherein I’m reaching for the unreachable star.

    

  Hopeless as it seems, yet hope will never be less for me as long as you give oxygen on the surface that I am breathing, I will always see hope. Even in to the dims of the nights and in to the sightless sense, I will even see the brightness of the light.

   

  I never directed my feelings to someone that I adore but as far I know it’s the only way to get in to your heart somehow. You may not response to this hopeless person, yet I still believe that at some point, you will feel this adoration that I longed have.  I’ve never seen you personally but deep in my mind I’ve seen you more than a thousand times.

   

They say that you’re a fantasy yet for me you are in my reality. You’re always been part of my day to day life and each of the sunrise, I be able to thank God for letting my head to use you as an instrument of my inspiration. You may think that I’m just like them, but no I’m not. This is the first time that I will open up and let my writing speak to you at once.

  

  Compare to all the gifts that you’ve received—this is just the smallest and simplest one. It’s simple but I can assure you that this is from the heart.  Just to give you a gift I wrote this letter for at least once in my life…I’d be able to express myself and tell the world how much you mean to me. And I’m glad that at some point I did something for the person who inspired me most. And that is you, I’m looking forward to the day that I’ll be able to give you this copy PERSONALLY.

   

  I know this is sort of corny already but then again this is my one shot to be able to catch your attention. Please do not be alarmed by me coz I’m not going to do anything to harm you. (I swear) remember that I will continuously be supporting you in everything that you will do.

From: Leene Alpa

this is for chris tiu...PLEASE READ THIS I MADE THIS FOR YOU

Laughable insanity of a hopeless devotion

I will never give up on you

For that’s in my mind.

I will find a way to find you,

Though it may take too long.

You lighten up my days

That it chases my blues away

My single star that sparks in the sky

The only one that I admired.

Billions of distance, I never care

For anything about you I will dare.

And from that dare,

You’ll be aware.

That this unfortunate individual

Is seeking for your approval.

Approval of attention

Because you never and will never mention.

Queer…yes it is!

But by means of my queerness

This may give you cheerfulness.

Though it’s obviously hopeless.

Still I’m a devotee

On that star that I see

It’s undeniably crazy!

Yet it makes me happy.

Just stop for a while,

My talk won’t tell a lie

For my deepest endearment

Is my only achievement.

I’m longing for this day

To finally say…

“I admire you from head to heels”

And for you, I’ll down on my knees

 -this is for you because this is your day, I hope you'll like this simple gift of mine. Good health and God bless you.

 from: Leene 

Labyrinth

I can’t be able to do things that I wanted to do… I want to step out in my shell; I want to be free…there’s nothing more than I could wish except for FREEDOM. I’m always been in this kind of situation and I’m tired of it, same thing everyday. And it seems to me…I’m living behind the dims.

I'm trapped in the labyrinth of rage, full of vengeance, darkness, tears and sadness. It’s like I’m the only person living in this world without even to talk to, to understand and even care. I feel like I’m all alone, and an escape for me is my writings. Whenever I pull out my thoughts it’s like I’m in another world though as similar walking to the Calle Luz finding my joy and seeing myself enjoying my freedom wherein I could be able to shout at the top of my lungs and run around in the  playground like a little girl.

Forgetting about the cruel world of Labyrinth without having regrets, exploring different things and being persons who you wanted to be are in the world of Calle Luz. I see happiness in writing, I can go out of space, can go along with various people, and mostly… I see freedom there. In my own ways I could be able to define the word “joy”. I see the light when I see my moulded world, wherein I built an endless liberty and disremembering the sorrows that was brought by the cruelty of the Labyrinth.

But everything has an end, and when it’s done. I will go back to the reality of life wherein I belong, and that is to the world of Labyrinth.

If not a teacher, then what?

Teaching is a noble profession. Once you’ve been a teacher you will be loved by your students. They will thank you for the things you’ve shared to them academically, spiritually, and mentally. For letting them discover and explore things on their own. Teachers are the students’ models. Whatever the teacher teach, they will listen and believe because teachers are their sirs and mams. Teachers are really teachers… but am I going to be one of those teachers?

This is my 3^rd yr. as a secondary education student. I must say, though we’re still in our training stage, it’s really not easy to step in to the world of teaching. One must be able to have knowledge, skills, and competency. But too bad those things are not in me. As I’ve known myself I don’t have enough knowledge to supply the learning of my students. I know there are a lot of things that I wanted to share with them yet I know that I don’t have the skills to convince them and I’m not responsible enough to face a lot of responsibilities and competency is not within me as a future TEACHER.

 As I’ve observed my teachers (from elementary up to the present) my teachers are really amazing! I mean they’re extra-ordinary. They possess those kinds of ability and when they’re teaching I was like “WOW! ANG GALING TALAGA NI MAM/SIR” I admire them because they’re really intelligent. By means of discussion they can convince and persuade students and the students really learn a lot from them. They work hard not for the salary but for the future of the youths and they spent half of their lives teaching and they’re really selfless.

And I asked myself... Do I really belong in this profession? I concluded that I can never be like my teachers. Because as based on my own capability, it is still futile, it is never enough to be a competent teacher. And honestly, I don’t have any chances to be like them. I’m not good at correcting grammar and I often misspelled words. Though it’s a normal mistake for others but for teachers it is a humiliation. But as much as I want; I am willing to learn. But I don’t find myself in teaching field anymore. 

Some of you may raise their eyebrows upon me and will ask…”why did you take up education then?”

Like weather, I usually change my mind. I know it’s kind of weird but really I am one of the undecided person existing in this world. I don’t mind my future even before and it’s annoying because I don’t like to end up what I’ve started. Still, I’m learning… and that’s what matters most I guess.

 And though I will not end up as a teacher, I can still share my knowledge by means of being a writer. Yes, I want to be a writer someday, a writer who give feedbacks and criticisms to the wrong doings of individuals or even the society. I want to open the minds by means of persuasion, conviction, and, writings. Though I’m not as good as others, still there’s a single hope within me that people may appreciate my writings. And before doing so, I know I need to practice a lot to attain my career as a writer. As long as I have the heart and the desire to write, I know that I could be a writer someday.

I owe my course a lot; I thank secondary education for opening my mind and helping me to develop my skills in writing. Even if I will not end up as a teacher, still I can be able to teach and give discussion not by means of lecturing handling a chalk but by means of lecturing using my pen and my paper.

renovation: ON GOING!

If you wish to change your clothes, you’re allowed too... Well no one’s stopping you. If you want to change your facebook account you may do so. If you’re ugly and want to change your looks and have surgeries go ahead! And if you’re reading this and then you decided not to continue reading because of the changes... don’t worry I’m not forcing you to read, for changes are in you…and in case you’ve change your mind, change it then! For that’s what you think will be the best if you will change.

Haven’t you noticed anything? It’s all about changes isn’t it? Well, I wouldn’t be surprise because it’s the most common thing that existed in this world and that’s but changes. It happens all the time admit it or not! Let me cite some situations:

 You planned to wear black dress but when you looked in to the mirror you saw a pig so what you will do is…to change that black dress because it doesn’t look good on your shape. You decided to read scarlet letter and then convince yourself that you’re not going to skip another chapter and you’re even willing not sleep. But it’s 12 a.m. already and you have to go early for school so what you will do is to continue reading it tomorrow.  Supposed you will be going to school early, but you didn't wake up early because procrastination strikes you. And then again you’ve change your mind and you ate your words and now you're like a liar.

 Familiar with Jessica Zafra’s “My own theory of devolution”?  If not, better read it! Base on her piece if evolution is getting higher in life, she defines devolution as a lesser life form. And on her text she set an alcohol as her sample on how person will go lower than the evolutionary theory. According to her description of a drunken person, you are becoming an ape because you hunch back and walk over to your arms down to your knees (you do an ape walk). And still if you permit yourself to drink some more, you won’t be able to go to the bathroom by means of doing an ape walk anymore. What you’re going to do now to reach in to the toilet is to crawl and you’re now a reptile. And since you’re out of your mind, you are being talkative, hyper verbal and you’re insulting your friends and trying to persuade them, then you are now a politician (buwaya on her description). And the day after, you will be able to seek answer on how you’d get home and you’re a human again.

See the transformation? From there, we can be able to identify the causes and effects of changes in one’s life.changes occurs anytime, anywhere, and everything can be changed now a days...And it's either you change in a good way or you change in a bad way. It's just a matter of choice anyway! If you feel like devolving yourself well there's nothing wrong with that.

 We don’t notice it but it happens to us frequently, I mean regularly, repeatedly or should I say everyday.  There’s nothing consistent in this world except for changes. Everything changes…beliefs, culture, tradition and etc… all that can be changed. If those changes will make us a better person then do it, it's just a matter of perspective anyway... If changes could help us to improve and evolve in to a new world then we should start changing. If we change, and we can change one’s wrong point of view then we should offer him change. Even our country’s seeking for changes because we believe that it’s the way to the better world. Well, I’m not forcing you to change, what am I trying to say is that, if it’s already too much then  that's the time that you should need to adjust (the word is adjust). Remember, changes occur depending on the situation.